We're due for another short move in April (about a four hour drive.) As he has now been told he could qualify for car insurance discounts, and many other things he just shut down. Tell any military spouse you’re California-bound and you’ll get replies that mimic a game of Scategories: 29 Palms — San Diego — Miramar! Thank you . Military ID card —Your service member cannot take your ID card away, and you can continue to access the privileges your ID card provides, even if your spouse leaves you. I thought that was great! As a thank you, each participant will be entered into a raffle for one of four giftcards. He is gone for two weeks and comes home for a week. Corey Ringer, and 2nd Lt. Marquise Blakeslee-Ringer last autumn. Whether you are new to the military community or a long-time contributing member, Military OneSource is with you through thick and thin. We bought our current home because it has a detached shop that was intended to be his space away from us, but he hasn't read turned it into his space and I don't want to pressure him to do so. These things continually stress out my husband, who claims that his time in the military "broke" him and now he needs a perfectly organized environment. We tried many different counselors, he just doesn't open up to anyone (barely opens up to me) so the sessions were kinda worthless. He tells me he is trying to adapt to how messy the kids are. Visit Insider's homepage for more stories. On DIY moves, packing, getting settled in, picking a place, or the crazy Tetris game that is loading a moving van? For example, moving to a place that will be better for our family + pets, since he will be gone and it will be just me. Canceling/Pausing some things only he uses for example Hulu, Phone, extra data plans... while doing all of this we realized some places offered military discounts and offered to sign us up. When He comes into your life there is true freedom. [jnews_carousel_2 compatible_column_notice="" number_item="1" margin="0" autoplay_delay="6000" He is God and knows you and your husband and has an amazing plan for your lives. Or do I have to call and get someone to install wifi for me? A state court can award a portion of the disposable military retired pay to the spouse even if the marriage lasted less than a year. MilSpouse Money Mission provides free financial education resources for military spouses. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting. The Department of Veterans Affairs employs 377,805 people at hundreds of Veterans Affairs locations. There are a few different ways your specific military path can play a unique role in dual-military marriages: Differences in rank – When two service members of different rank marry, they may not have the common experiences or understanding of each other’s … Yes he is in an online group. That is not true. He really wanted to clarify that fact since he thought that being in the reserves meant he would not qualify for any discounts anywhere. I have saved up enough to last us through 2 months after he leaves so I have a bit more time to find a job. He needs counseling. Any advice would help or maybe just thoughts? He says this is all from being in the military, but his dad is exactly the same way and has been divorced twice because of his perfectionist ways. Would it really be so wrong to accept the military discount now instead of 6 or 8 months from now? He needs therapy, not just you. There are so many positives about being a military spouse. You can come to agreements as to what's reasonable (putting toys away twice a day or at the end of the day or whatever), but then if he can't handle that there are toys out in between those times, then he should take on the responsibility for putting them away OR for absenting himself from the yard in between so he doesn't have to see them. Husband did not think he would be getting this discount. My husband was assigned to Korea last spring. If you are the parent of a child between 5-17 years old, we at Case Western Reserve University want to hear about YOUR experience adjusting in this 45-minute research study. I am 30, my husband is 40, our kids are 3 and 1.5. For more information, read “Special Hiring Authorities for Military Spouses and … I agree!!!! I had no idea there was a dress code while living on a military base, and I have to follow three pages worth of strict guidelines while attending annual balls and events. Many military spouse divorcees qualify for benefits after divorce under a policy known as the 20/20/20 rule. I think your hubby’s estimation that the military “broke” him is likely more accurate than most people are crediting and for him, that admission is already opening up a lot. It is a him problem. So that nobody trashes him for not helping, he cleans A LOT. I tried to talk to him. But as soon as children are off to college, Husband plans to switch to Active Duty. Anyone want to share their tips here? Is it possible he's dealing with anxiety and the mess is where he's focused it? #MILITARY #SPOUSES stand out in the sea of competition, take advantage of your $4000 grant. My boys are toddlers and are messy. Also, Due to the pandemic his leaving date got pushed for months but now its all finalized and he will be leaving. The assault caused a miscarriage. Husband then told the Rep that he was going into the reserves not active duty. So, basically you’ve got a husband from the 50’s who believes a man bottles everything up and powers through all things. Maybe he would be more comfortable not actually being in the room with the person, and maybe not even in the same state! The ID Card paperwork is mailed to the spouse who can then take it to any military installation and obtain a military dependent ID Card. #MILITARY #SPOUSES stand out in the sea of competition, take advantage of your $4000 grant. I was a military spouse for 17 yrs. 2. "The military is a cross section of our society, and just as in civilian communities, there are always promiscuous men and women," hd said. Cleaning services don't follow the children around the house with a vacuum, which it sounds like this guy wants. Contact me today to take advantage of this amazing opportunity. The Uniformed Services Former Spouse Protection Act: A federal law that provides former, un-remarried spouses of military members with certain benefits, after a certain number of years of marriage. He does not have a GP. COVID-19 has placed you in many new roles this year. I feel like I'm missing out on the military community! We've NEVER been able to live on base! In case you're unfamiliar with MFAN, we represent military and veteran families worldwide by providing clear and actionable research and data that articulate the lived experiences of those we serve. Can an ex-spouse continue to collect a portion of retirement pay if they re-marry? The Military Spouse Appointing Authority (Executive Order 13473) gives agencies the authority to hire military spouses without competition, but it doesn’t entitle spouses to a hiring opportunity over all other applicants. Has he talked to his GP and asked about anxiety meds? I hope the best for you both. If he can't handle mess and you spend all your spare time cleaning, you are enabling his issues. You probably know that the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ) is a separate set of rules from federal and state laws, but you might not know how separate. He would be gone a year and I would be very lonely. It’s hard to find much helpful to say. https://www.facebook.com/groups/4001485909878015, Press J to jump to the feed. Military Spouse is your premiere resource on all things military life, marriage, military spouse jobs and education, pcs moves, military discounts, and more! It may have changed the way your child is attending school and how you are able to spend time with friends and family. He won't really talk about it much, just that "it helps.". He is not. Does he have a space that’s “his”? I am also an Army BRAT. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, https://cwru.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1O0uCidvCzmrvdr. I’m marrying my boyfriend in May and I was wondering if there is Wifi in the private housing on base at Camp Lejeune? They say they'll only have openings starting in September. All 50 states treat military pensions as marital or community property. To participate, click here: https://cwru.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_1O0uCidvCzmrvdr. You (both) can start teaching the kids where to put the toys when they're done playing. :-). Or even just crazy stories that might keep someone else from going through what you did. Counseling doesn’t work for everyone. Refuses to see one because he is "healthy.". This sounds like a little ptsd with a little ocd and anxiety. On some level, your husband trusts you. Husband immediately just lost it and said wait, stop, no. As a military spouse, you are part of a strong, proud military community that counts more than five million warriors, family members and caregivers around the world. You guys can’t fix that on your own. The courts can choose to divide the retirement or not. I have read through some of the comments - regarding counseling, the military, etc. My friends husband is stationed there also. If it's interfering with his life to think about toys being out in the yard ever, then that isn't healthy and he should consider how to better manage his thoughts about it. I'm wondering if he just mentally told himself the reserves is not like active duty and he would not be getting any discounts or anything. sharon, I completely agree with you. Ringer, an education counselor at Camp Humphreys, South Korea, says he has had little difficulty as a military spouse. The military benefits you're entitled to as a military spouse include, but aren't limited to: 1. Phone Representative asked the reason for changing our services and my husband said he was leaving for Army training. He says he will just learn to adapt on his own . Press J to jump to the feed. Military spouses who are on their active-duty spouse’s Permanent Change of Station (PCS) orders must contact the Military Help Line at 877-CIS-4MIL (877-247-4645, TTY: 800-877-8339) or militaryinfo@uscis.dhs.gov to let the team know they are moving according to military orders and, therefore, are requesting expedited processing. It’s because of this that I don’t think she is fully supportive of my relationship regardless of how happy I am. Like others said, yes it goes both ways both the men and woman cheat military or not. Thank you for your time and for your considerations. He doesn't open up to people so the sessions were a total waste of money. One of the most distinct differences is how the UCMJ governs the personal lives of military members. You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal. To clarify: we didn't ask about the military discount. I haven't had any help since March when covid started. I keep an incredibly clean/tidy home because all I do in my spare time is clean and tidy, but he tells me the occasional messes still stress him out. The Rep told him no, they also do military discounts for those in the reserves. He was an essential employee so his income has got us through all these months perfectly fine. Fully accredited #MYCAA programs. But now he is leaving and I still haven't found a job. Now he just started yelling he shouldn't get anything at least until he returns from basic training in a few months. It's not really "clean" that he wants, it's super tidy all the time. I dont know if it was all too much for him to hear or what happened. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. 3. As to how to move forward, if conventional modern recourses like therapy aren’t working out you might be left with nothing but your feminine persuasion and assloads of patience. I am in counseling already. Hi everyone ! Perhaps you’ve heard rumors of a law against cheating on your spouse. We eventually got engaged, but I decided to end it before we got married. I am a military spouse, but worked as a DOD employee with the Marines. There's a whole subreddit dedicated to calling out military spouses who overstep called Just Dependa Things. When you give them that look that says, hey, let’s use our inside voices, and tell them you’re actually headed to Monterey, CA, get ready for extreme jealousy. My name is Shannon Razsadin and I'm the President & Executive Director for the Military Family Advisory Network (MFAN).